Baby steps

Pin It Merry belated Christmas!!

I have to say it was the first holiday in years I was filled with so much happiness, I think it's because it was simple. Too be honest we all stayed in our Jammie's yesterday while our family filtered in and out. It was just so relaxing almost too relaxing, my mind is not used to that lol perhaps we should practice that again soooooon. All in all just a happy day.

But....

I am writting with a confession. It's not easy for me to be candid about this but I think you all need to know where my struggles came in this weekend.

All of my family are total goobers like myself so we decided to rip open the new Michael Jackson dance experience I got in my stocking and have a battle. I was kicking some major bootie, that's right I got moves like Jagger. It was a total blast, my Mom was doing some serious crazy knee moves and my nephew was working his swagger, I think he has a secret stash with a red leather jacket and white glove! He rocked it!! In the spirit of laughter and fun, a video was posted onto Facebook. Now everyone thought it was great, but all I felt, was gross. I could feel myself slipping back into my previous mindset. I watched it like twenty times, each time picking out "gross" things about myself. I did everything in my power to make myself ignore it and just accept the fun that we had. Don't worry about the jiggle, no one is paying attention to the dimples I repeated over and over in my head but I just couldn't let it go. I asked for it to be removed and of course it was.

I was really upset with myself, I vented to my gorgeous girlfriend Caitlin and then got to Skype with my beautiful friend Dani, I told them what was going on in my head and they both said immediatly said write about it. Be truthful, be yourself. That's exactly what I needed to hear.

Body acceptance and self love isn't easy when for so many years it was hate. We are our own worst critics, but by being honest with the process it will get easier. I'm not going to give this up!!

I woke up this morning feeling so much better, I woke up with outfit ideas in my head for this weeks OOTW, where I want this blog to go and most importantly how I want to feel.

I hoping all of you had a blessed holiday, I am excited what the New Year has in store, and in store hehehehe...Nothing makes me feel better than a little retail therapy...Oh Yah!!!

Much love,

Lauren

P.S I totally forgot to mention that Lane Bryant is having their annual Buy 2 get 2 bras free sale!!!! Best sale of the year IMO!!!!