Resolutions

Pin It So I have always been one to HATE New Years resolutions. I used to feel it was a way to just let yourself down. If there is something you have a problem with, go out and fix it. As my Mom would say do not put off what you know you can do today, for what you think you can do tomorrow. Except the problems in my mind were not that easy to fix. There was no magic wrench or pill for my problems.

There were so many years I would make the resolution of I am going to lose 100lbs this year. I will do it. I have to do it. I'll find love if I do it. I will be able to love myself when it does happen.

One year my friend and I even made a vow on a bible (like totally wrote on the inside cover with our oaths hahaha) vowing we were going to the gym 7 days a week. Eating nothing but meat and cheese aka Atkins and push towards what the Atkins author wrote as a NWOL a New Way Of Life. It started off good, we passed the nauseating two week period surviving on eggs, chicken and lettuce that's what our minimum wage salary could allow. We DROVE the one mile to the gym, pretended we knew what we were doing. Walked the treadmill and lifted a few weights at my Aunt's studio after it had closed because HELLO who wants to work out when there are a ton of fit people around?? LOL!! Well it didn't last too long lets say ummm til February. Then I was back to hating my body again along with praying to God that this fat joke was over. I Came out even madder at myself for failing...ONCE AGAIN. That was 2002, the end of believing in New Years Resolutions.

Sure of course I have had goals in between, but they weren't for me.  After the marriage to the most wonderful man in 2003 and the births of our daughters in 03 and 05 my goals revolved around their success. I put myself in the background and took on everyones needs but my own, which does not lead to a happy wife or mother. I was so slumped in a depression and couldn't stand to even look at myself in the mirror. My husband could not understand how I was unable to see what he saw when he looked at me.

Then something clicked* slowly and surely I came around to a normal frame of mind, with the love and guidance of my hubby, true family that believed in me and the hearts of my amazing girlfriends. I learned to believe in myself. Its amazing how much love you can put out towards others when you feel so good inside!!

I started Weight Watchers in October, I have lost 20 lbs since inception, I have had slip ups but the most important thing I have learned is to just pick up where I have left off. My goal this time is not to be Kate Moss, but to be healthy for life. Choosing healthier foods, moving more and most importantly loving myself and embracing life in the now.

I will be starting my New Year with resolutions for the first time in 10 years. Not unreachable ones but obtainable goals that will better my life. Our family has a lot of changes this year ahead and with the chaos of raising two young girls, working full-time, being a wife and supporter to my husband and his new business. I am setting a goal...right here and now.

I will not lose myself. I will make time for me, I will allow myself to have selfish moments. I will accept any failures and push forward with a positive heart. I will continue to strive towards self love and body acceptance.

I am asking all of you out there reading to send me some feedback. I want to hear about your goals, dreams and resolutions or your standpoint on New Years resolutions. If you do not want to publicly post a comment here, feel free to email me at Lovinglifeinthepluslane@gmail.com.

I look forward to sharing this journey with you all and hearing all about yours.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Much Love,

Lauren

P.S. Be on the lookout for OOTW...Its a good one!!